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少しだけ結婚がこわくなっているあなたへ_

こんばんは。

武田です。

今日はパートナーシップについて。

 

少しだけ結婚が怖くなっているあなたへ。

結婚。どう思いますか?

 

 

いつかは結婚したい

できれば結婚したい

もう、結婚が決まっている人。

 

 

経験したことがないことって、

なんだかとてもこわく感じる。

 

ありとあらゆる小さなささやきや思いが付きまとうものです。

 

 

 

もし、私が嫌だと思う場所に彼が住みたがったらどうしよう。

もし、私が欲しいと思うお金が、彼の必要と考えいる金額の10倍だったらどうしよう。

もし、彼が誰かほかの人を好きになってしまったらどうしよう。

 

この絶え間ない不安は、

 

この存在は

 

愛情や情熱が足りないとか、

結婚の誓いがどうあるべきかなどは全く関係なく…

 

では、

この不安は一体?

 

 

 

 

それは二人の共同生活。

つまり、愛を育むために二人で力を合わせて想像すべき

その生活だったのです。

 

 

 

私の人生をどう思い描いているか、あなたは本当にわかっているのかな?

家庭についての考え方は?

私の両親と彼の関係は上手く行くだろうか?

それぞれの銀行口座は?

 

 

 

NOはありましたか?

 

 

あって当然。

あなたが知っているつもりになっていたのは、

ただ推測したり、

なんとなくほのめかされたりしたことだけだったのです。

 

だから、じっくり話し合うことは本当に大切。

 

 

 

もし二人の意見が違ってしまったら…?

 

 

人は誰しも意見の不一致を恐れる傾向にあります。

脳が意見の不一致による様々な筋書きを

次々と作り出してしまうのです。

 

 

 

「あなたと共に暮らし続けるためには、

本当の自分を出さないようにしなければならないの?」

 

 

考え方の違いは引き起こすものは恐れで、誰もが伏せたくなります。

 

 

 

でも、二人が互いのことの心に直接働きかけることができれば、

意見が一致しないことも

決して悪いことではないのです。

 

大切なことは…

 

 

思いやりを常に持つこと。

じっくり話し合って、

「相手そのもの」を、相手との関係よりも

ほんの少しだけ、

ほんの少し多めに愛すること。

 

 

深い思いやりとおおらかさを持つこと。

 

お互いがそうなれば、

愛情はもっと深まっていくのです。

 

だから、きっと大丈夫。

二人なら大丈夫。

 

 

 

 

では、また。

 


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